The "Show 'Em Yer Nuts!" Tour 2011

Last week my parents made their yearly Spring Break pilgrimage to Texas. We needed a new theme, since the Galveston Devastation Tour that we had gone on every year since Ike hit was starting to get a little old (and less devastated since it has been 3 years - boring). So our theme for the 2011 tour was "Show 'Em Yer Nuts!" (this was followed by giving yourself "moose antlers" with your hands and making blabbing sounds with your mouth - there was no pants-dropping going on and no eyes were harmed or required bleach during the making of this trip.) So let the good times roll - literally.

Kevin was hell-bent against sitting around all week and staring at each other (his actual words were "I refuse to sit around and stare at you people all week") so we decided to whip out the old RV, pack up every piece of baby gear that we own, and stock enough food to last us 4 weeks (we are Shagenes after all) and hit the open road.The only problem was that we didn't have a destination in mind. We figured heading South down the coast sounded like a pretty good option. Then we got on the road and decided that West sounded more fun. (No, none of us could tell you why.) We were off!  

Grandma and Greyden playing in the RV:

The first day we spent driving. Well, we did stop once when Kevin saw a sign for the Kreische Brewery State Park in La Grange. (Ha! I say stop. He actually took the corner on two wheels and came to a screeching halt in the parking lot. Turns out the brewery was actually built in the 1860s and was nothing more than a stone foundation now. Poor Kevin.) That night we ended up in Blanco, TX at the Blanco State Park. It was tiny but nice. Our camp site backed to the woods and the park was pretty much empty. We unloaded, grilled (again, we're Shagenes) and were sitting around the campfire relaxing and drinking when we almost got eaten my a mountain lion. Okay, maybe it was just two cats fighting in the woods, but still. When it's pitch black out and you're sitting next to the woods with your only source of light coming from a tiny campfire, "stray cat" isn't the first thought to pop into your head when you hear screaming coming from the blackness only yards away. And actually, if you're me, it was (in this order): snake (really???), racoon, big foot, abominable snowman. My mind apparently doesn't function rationally during mountain lion attacks.

Our first campsite:

Greyden was fascinated by the goose that came to visit: 

 
The next day we packed up and hit the road again. This time we ended up at Natural Bridge Caverns near San Antonio. I have to say the caverns were gorgeous. Well, what little we saw. The tour was about 75 minutes long, but Junior only lasted about 15 before he decided that he was hot and bored and chose to entertain himself by talking loudly. And when you're in a huge, underground cavern, loudly quickly becomes LOUDLY. Kevin and I hightailed it out of there while my parents finished out the tour. I say hightailed, but to be honest, when you're climbing up what feels like miles and miles of steps in 99% humidity, it was more like we huffed and puffed our way out, only to get to the entrance and find that there were steel bars across the door and we were padlocked in. Yes, for real. Thank goodness for modern technology - Kevin called the customer service line in the brochure (that he luckily had stuck in his pocket) and told them to get their a$$es down there and get us the #&@#$%#$ out of there (actually those may have been the words that I was stage whispering into his other ear while he was talking to them. I don't remember for sure.) Even for someone who isn't claustrophobic, being locked underground doesn't sound like the ideal way to die. And if the other people on the tour thought Junior was loud, they wouldn't have heard anything until mommy started panicking and shrieking for help at the top of my lungs. I was getting pretty close.

At the Natural Bridge Caverns:

Once we escaped the depths of hell (which was actually quite lovely now that I'm going back and looking at the pictures) we headed out to Gruene, home of Texas's oldest dance hall. It was a cute little historic town, but it was HOT and mommy Junior wasn't thrilled with sweating his balls off for hours on end in the blazing Texas sun so we only stayed an hour or so. We hopped in the (wonderful, air-conditioned) RV and took off again, this time heading back to the east. This time we landed in Gonzales, TX, home of Palmetto State Park which is by far the most gorgeous state park I have ever been to (and if you want to get technical, yes it is only the second that I've been to, with Blanco being the other one. Whatever.) After meeting one of the park hosts and asking him about snakes (my standard introduction - "are there snakes here?"), then promptly ignoring him when he started talking about a 6 foot long shedding they had found just the week prior, we got to settling in. Luckily there were no mountain lion attacks (that we heard anyway) so it was a relaxing night of just hanging out around the fire. Oh, and getting up approximately every hour to hour and a half to rock Tater back to sleep. Nothing like tossing an infant into an RV for a "Who in the Hell Knows Where We're Going?" road trip to mess up his schedule. *Big Sigh*

Campsite Numero Dos:

Greyden helping Grandpa grill:

The following day we realized that we just happened to be 30 miles from Shiner, TX, home of the Spoetzl Brewery and the world's best beer (funny how that happens, huh?) Seriously, if you've never tried Shiner Bock (or any of the other amazing brews) get thee some. (Miller, what???) Lucky for us, Junior slept through this tour so we actually got to enjoy the entire thing. Then we got to enjoy the gift shop where they gave us 4 wooden nickels to redeem for not-small samples of different Shiner beers that were on tap. And because Junior was taking the world's longest nap (thank you Jesus!), even mommy got to chug like she hadn't had a beer in the last 14 months sample a few. Which resulted in Junior spending the entire tour with his pacifier on his head. (I swear I checked on him under the blanket - I just missed it.)

By this time it was Friday. We discussed resurrecting our original plans and heading South, but after a few calls to some random state parks, we weren't finding any availability. Apparently Texans are smart and aren't waiting until May when the temperatures will spike to 200 degrees before getting their camping fix. We decided to head home to good old Spring and brought the "Show 'Em Yer Nuts Tour 2011" to an end. Well, we did hop in the RV to do a mini-road trip up to Wolfie's on Lake Conroe for some crawfish and beer, but that was it. Exorbitant fuel prices be damned!

Grandpa got Greyden his first watermelon. I think he liked it!

He was also put in charge of keeping an eye on it while Mommy and Grandma got the food ready to grill.