Friday, October 3, 2014

Waffle Faces

Am I the only one that hates doing nice things for my kids? I mean, I don't HATE it, it's just that......well, they're elephants. They don't forget anything. We have to anticipate everything we do with or for them because you can guarantee it will be brought up at a later date. (And sometimes a MUCH later date. Grey still talks about things from 2 years ago. "Remember when you gave me that new toy because I was nice to Emerson??? Remember that???" "No, no I don't.") Everything we do has to be calculated and analyzed because you can bet the kids are going to remember and request it again. 

Take this morning for example. On Tuesday morning I was in a good mood (I managed to suck down copious amounts of coffee before the offspring woke up) so I decided to make waffles for the kids for breakfast. And before you start emailing me requesting my superhuman "waffles-on-a-weekday" mom secrets, I will elaborate and inform you that to make waffles = to toast Eggos. Anyway, on a whim I decided it would be fun to make waffle faces for the kids. So I spread them with peanut butter and busted out M&Ms for eyes and a mouth and candy corn for hair and a nose. Of course nothing is ever as easy as "Wow! This is so cool! Thank you mommy! You're the best! " No, first we have to get all of the kinks worked out in order to stop the mass hysteria:   

1) There was a RED M&M on Emerson's waffle! BLASPHEMY! 
2) There was NO ORANGE M&M present on Grey's waffle. BUT EMERSON HAS 2!!!!  
3) Greyden's candy corn nose was sticking up like a carrot nose. OMG! HE DOESN'T WANT IT STICKING UP!!!!!!!!
4) One of Greyden's "hairs" fell off the waffle onto his plate. Insert hyperventilation here. 
5) Harley ate the red M&M (coated in peanut butter) that Emerson had ceremoniously thrown across the room. NOOOOOO!!! IT'S HER M&M!!!! OMGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

After the initial bugs were worked out of the waffle faces, things went relatively smoothly. (Of course after those kind of panicked "emergencies", a dump truck could drive into our living room and I'd still consider it a relatively easy morning. As long as the kids aren't screaming, I'll take it.) 

Then this morning happened. 

Grey: "Mommy, remember on Wednesday (sidenote: everything happens on either Wednesday or Saturday to Grey) when you put candy on our waffles? And made faces? With M&Ms? And the other candy? You should do that again. Today. Because I want them."

Me: "Sorry, honey. I only did that because it was a special day." (It wasn't but whatever)


Me: "No, we're not having candy for breakfast today, sorry buddy."

Grey: (screeching at the top of his lungs) "IIIIIIII WAAAAAAAANT WAFFLES WITH FAAAAAAAAAAACESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Throws himself on the floor. As soon as Emerson sees him go down, she decides she's committed to the cause as well and promptly chucks herself down in solidarity. Now I have 2 little people shrieking and flailing on the floor. Kevin's out of town, the dogs have already evacuated to the safety of the bedroom, and the cat will never be found ever again. I have no help. Ten minutes later when all of my FBI negotiation tactics have failed miserably and they're STILL screaming at the top of their lungs, I make a game-time decision and offer them the breakfast of champions - cold, leftover pizza. All waffle faces are forgotten and they happily hop up from the floor and climb into their chairs. Why do I have a feeling that pizza for breakfast might just bite me in the ass someday? 

Oh, and lest you think it was that easy, they also demanded mini-pancakes spread with peanut butter and syrup as a side for their pizza. I think they know when I've been sufficiently beaten down, because I didn't even question it. Just submitted to their demands and served up the pancakes. (Exhausted) Parenting fail. 

Happy Friday! 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


As in, my blog (and I) have fallen off the face of the Earth. And I'm sorry for that. I blame my perfectionist tendencies. And my job. And my kids. But mostly my perfectionism. As the saying goes, if something is worth doing, then it has to be perfect, right? Or...something like that.

So I'm back. With a 2 and almost 4 year old. Crazy how time flies. And the 4 year old started preschool today. I'm feeling really un-young lately. 

First day of Preschool 2014

Speaking of feeling un-young, a Preschooler and a 2-going-on-16 year old are just one half of the equation. The other is my dear husband who is beyond thrilled that, as of 2 weeks ago, I'm now 34 and he's still 33 with a whopping 2 months to go. In order to remind me of this constantly, he has taken to calling me his Cougar. Obviously not helpful. 

So why am I blogging again? It's been over a year and I have more than enough to fill my time without adding one more thing to my giant, broken plate. Well, for one, I need an outlet. Somewhere I can mindlessly ramble about all of the things that are going on in my head. Not that Kevin doesn't love listening to me when I ramble them out loud. I mean, every time I do he rolls his eyes toward the sky where I'm sure he's thanking his lucky stars that he found (and picked - sucker) me.  Another reason is because my mom everyone tells me that I'm an excellent writer and that I should "DO SOMETHING WITH IT LEAH". Her Their words, not mine. So I've decided to appease my clearly adoring fan base. And since I obviously don't have time to write the next Harry Potter series, this is it. My own little padded corner of the interwebs. Welcome back. 

Friday, June 7, 2013

10 Months and On the Move!

Isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever seen??? And as we all know, cute usually equals trouble. Ask anyone who has watched her for an hour (heck, even just 30 minutes) and they'll tell you that there is no stopping her. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard "you're going to have fun with that one..."  If there is something that she can get into or climb, she's all over it. Constantly. So of course it makes sense that she's already started walking. Heaven forbid she is a semi-contained crawler for even a few weeks longer! She started standing on her own just after she hit 10 months. A few days later, she was taking steps. Granted, she's only taking a few steps at a time, but that's enough to get her from Point A to Point Destruction so she's fine with it. She'd probably have more luck staying upright if she didn't try to run though.
Another thing that 10 months has brought us is some sleep! Well, from Emerson's point of view anyway. She's finally starting to sleep through the night. Last night was the 3rd night in a row. Of course, nothing EVER comes for free. Just ask Greyden, who suddenly needs to be rocked to sleep every night. And when you lay him in bed, unless he's asleep and doesn't wake up, you might as well count on hysterical screaming for an hour. He's gotten himself so worked up that he's even thrown up for the last two nights straight. (Note to self: make sure to refer to it as "throwing up" and not "puking" in front of Grey. Listening to your 2.5 year old yelling "I PUKED! I PUKED!" is a little.....odd.) Oh, and let's not forget about the hysterical screaming session in the middle of the night every night, just for good measure. If you ask my mom, she'll tell you that he takes after his mommy. Apparently I used to do the same thing, including making myself throw up. (I say apparently because the only witnesses are my mom and Grandma Omi and we all know what Drama Queens they are. Bless their hearts.) I'll just smile and nod in agreement.

Ever since we've moved Grey to his Big Boy Bed (which has pretty much turned into everything BUT a "Big Boy" bed) we've had an early morning wake up call every. Single. Morning. As much as I love summer, the fact that the sun comes up at 5:30 isn't working for me anymore. I used to love waking up slowly to the sunrise, now when the sun comes up, Grey is up. This means that every morning we wake up to "The sun is awake Daddy!" Although this morning was "I need a new dump truck." Ooookay..... Oh, and random funny - we took Grey to the Brighton Memorial Day parade on Monday. That night he must have been having a dream about the fire trucks because in the middle of the night he yelled out "I didn't get to sit in the fire truck!"

Grey and his fire truck


At the Memorial Day parade

Luckily Emerson is also at the stage where everything that happens gets a round of applause. All you have to do is say "Yay!" and she's shrieking and clapping for you. This is good, because with all that has been going on between her getting into all the trouble she can manage and her brother milking his Toddler Card for all it's worth, any and all encouragement Daddy and I can get is much appreciated. :) Lately she's either clapping for you or waving and telling you hi which is another new trick. Except she waves and says "Haiiiiiiiiii" She's apparently very Southern.

Speaking of shrieking, the girl has a killer set of lungs on her. When you put her in her chair for dinner, she screams at the top of her lungs until you put her food in front of her. I'm not talking like the cute little baby shrieks, I'm talking a 10 second, ear-piercing, top of her lungs ANGRY SCREAM that makes your ears tingle. And she does it over and over until her mouth is full. (No comments about taking after mom from the peanut gallery, please.)
Since she's on the go so much, I didn't get any really good pictures from her 10 month shoot. It's hard to take a picture when you're literally chasing a crawler around on your hands and knees.

This is from her 6 month pictures. She's such a big girl now! (This must have been taken right after Mommy gave her bangs a haircut. I guess I shouldn't make that mistake again...)
He sure looks cute and harmless. Just don't try to put him to bed.

Helping with Sissy's bottle
"Helping" Emerson use her walker. This was about 10 seconds before shooting her across the driveway. 
Driving Daddy's Jeep
Her first pony tail!
Her first ice cream cone. She dove in head first and, believe it or not, SCREAMED when I finished it and there was none left. We still can't get Greyden to try it. For whatever reason, his toddler brain seems to have permanently connected ice cream and "butt cream", also known as diaper cream. So I guess I wouldn't try it if I were him either.
If you listen closely, it sounds like she does a fake burp at the end. :)