Friday, October 2, 2015

Hanging with a Hockenberry

It's been so long since I logged on here. Imagine my surprise to see that it's been almost exactly a year since my last post. A YEAR. How, over the course of a year, did I not find time to check in? I'm sitting here trying to think back to what kept me so busy. Kids are obviously a big chunk of it, then work, kids, the house, kids, Kevin, kids...

But at what point did my writing become relegated to the back burner? I don't have many material loves in my life...magazines, jigsaw puzzles, coffee and wine. I also adore exercise (specifically CrossFit), and of course writing. And did I mention wine? Somehow I manage to make time for everything except writing (and some more than others *cough*wine*cough*), which is ironic considering the number of hours a day I spend online reading the blogs of other people. It occurred to me that it really doesn't make sense to pour over these and be jealous of their lives and passions. I have that time too, I just have to use it for myself instead of for them. So that's what I've decided to do. 

So this is me. Here I am. Notice the name of this post is 'Hanging with A Hockenberry,' versus 'the Hockenberrys.' Because this is my blog, about me and my life, and let's face it. As a mom, there are very few things in this life that are mine alone anymore. Obviously my kids will have a role in it too (there's no escaping them, trust me, I've tried). And my dear, sweet, husband will make a regular appearance since there's no escaping him either he's such an integral part of my life. And who knows where this will go. My current blog obsessions right now are Financial Independence and Minimalism (I'm subscribed to at least 30 of them) so maybe I'll share my adventures in those. Sneak Peek - my first foray into minimalism started with my completely filling up the back of my Yukon XL with items from the depths of our basement. These were things we haven't used in 2+ years or things we had duplicates of. Goodwill or Bust. Unfortunately my foray promptly ended 30 minutes after it began with Kevin buried ass-deep in the back of my Yukon hauling out all of the items that we NEEDED to keep. Because that feather duster that hasn't left it's shelf in the closet since we moved in 3.5 years ago could come in handy some day! And the kids' "favorite toy"? Has been in a box in the basement for 8 months. Note to self: Minimalism should only be undertaken while Kevin is out of town. 

That's it. Let's see where this goes. 

Friday, October 3, 2014

Waffle Faces

Am I the only one that hates doing nice things for my kids? I mean, I don't HATE it, it's just that......well, they're elephants. They don't forget anything. We have to anticipate everything we do with or for them because you can guarantee it will be brought up at a later date. (And sometimes a MUCH later date. Grey still talks about things from 2 years ago. "Remember when you gave me that new toy because I was nice to Emerson??? Remember that???" "No, no I don't.") Everything we do has to be calculated and analyzed because you can bet the kids are going to remember and request it again. 

Take this morning for example. On Tuesday morning I was in a good mood (I managed to suck down copious amounts of coffee before the offspring woke up) so I decided to make waffles for the kids for breakfast. And before you start emailing me requesting my superhuman "waffles-on-a-weekday" mom secrets, I will elaborate and inform you that to make waffles = to toast Eggos. Anyway, on a whim I decided it would be fun to make waffle faces for the kids. So I spread them with peanut butter and busted out M&Ms for eyes and a mouth and candy corn for hair and a nose. Of course nothing is ever as easy as "Wow! This is so cool! Thank you mommy! You're the best! " No, first we have to get all of the kinks worked out in order to stop the mass hysteria:   

1) There was a RED M&M on Emerson's waffle! BLASPHEMY! 
2) There was NO ORANGE M&M present on Grey's waffle. BUT EMERSON HAS 2!!!!  
3) Greyden's candy corn nose was sticking up like a carrot nose. OMG! HE DOESN'T WANT IT STICKING UP!!!!!!!!
4) One of Greyden's "hairs" fell off the waffle onto his plate. Insert hyperventilation here. 
5) Harley ate the red M&M (coated in peanut butter) that Emerson had ceremoniously thrown across the room. NOOOOOO!!! IT'S HER M&M!!!! OMGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

After the initial bugs were worked out of the waffle faces, things went relatively smoothly. (Of course after those kind of panicked "emergencies", a dump truck could drive into our living room and I'd still consider it a relatively easy morning. As long as the kids aren't screaming, I'll take it.) 

Then this morning happened. 

Grey: "Mommy, remember on Wednesday (sidenote: everything happens on either Wednesday or Saturday to Grey) when you put candy on our waffles? And made faces? With M&Ms? And the other candy? You should do that again. Today. Because I want them."

Me: "Sorry, honey. I only did that because it was a special day." (It wasn't but whatever)


Me: "No, we're not having candy for breakfast today, sorry buddy."

Grey: (screeching at the top of his lungs) "IIIIIIII WAAAAAAAANT WAFFLES WITH FAAAAAAAAAAACESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! Throws himself on the floor. As soon as Emerson sees him go down, she decides she's committed to the cause as well and promptly chucks herself down in solidarity. Now I have 2 little people shrieking and flailing on the floor. Kevin's out of town, the dogs have already evacuated to the safety of the bedroom, and the cat will never be found ever again. I have no help. Ten minutes later when all of my FBI negotiation tactics have failed miserably and they're STILL screaming at the top of their lungs, I make a game-time decision and offer them the breakfast of champions - cold, leftover pizza. All waffle faces are forgotten and they happily hop up from the floor and climb into their chairs. Why do I have a feeling that pizza for breakfast might just bite me in the ass someday? 

Oh, and lest you think it was that easy, they also demanded mini-pancakes spread with peanut butter and syrup as a side for their pizza. I think they know when I've been sufficiently beaten down, because I didn't even question it. Just submitted to their demands and served up the pancakes. (Exhausted) Parenting fail. 

Happy Friday! 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


As in, my blog (and I) have fallen off the face of the Earth. And I'm sorry for that. I blame my perfectionist tendencies. And my job. And my kids. But mostly my perfectionism. As the saying goes, if something is worth doing, then it has to be perfect, right? Or...something like that.

So I'm back. With a 2 and almost 4 year old. Crazy how time flies. And the 4 year old started preschool today. I'm feeling really un-young lately. 

First day of Preschool 2014

Speaking of feeling un-young, a Preschooler and a 2-going-on-16 year old are just one half of the equation. The other is my dear husband who is beyond thrilled that, as of 2 weeks ago, I'm now 34 and he's still 33 with a whopping 2 months to go. In order to remind me of this constantly, he has taken to calling me his Cougar. Obviously not helpful. 

So why am I blogging again? It's been over a year and I have more than enough to fill my time without adding one more thing to my giant, broken plate. Well, for one, I need an outlet. Somewhere I can mindlessly ramble about all of the things that are going on in my head. Not that Kevin doesn't love listening to me when I ramble them out loud. I mean, every time I do he rolls his eyes toward the sky where I'm sure he's thanking his lucky stars that he found (and picked - sucker) me.  Another reason is because my mom everyone tells me that I'm an excellent writer and that I should "DO SOMETHING WITH IT LEAH". Her Their words, not mine. So I've decided to appease my clearly adoring fan base. And since I obviously don't have time to write the next Harry Potter series, this is it. My own little padded corner of the interwebs. Welcome back.