Mark Twain once said "Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething." After living with Greyden for the past few days, I believe that God knew exactly what he was doing when he opted to avoid this stage. So how do we know that Greyden is teething? Easy! The same way I knew he was teething back when he was 4 months old. 6 months old. 7 months old. He is clearly exibiting the vast majority of the teething symptoms below.

Signs of Teething:

1) Do the gums look a little red and swollen? Well, if we could get into his mouth to see his gums, then I'm sure we'd find this to be the case. Unfortunately every time we even try to put our fingers near his mouth, he clamps his lips shut tighter than Fort Knox. (Did you know that it is physically impossible to pry a baby's mouth open? Neither did I.) I did manage to get my finger in there a couple of times last night when he wasn't expecting it and felt a small, swollen bump on his right, lower gum. I was so excited to finally have an answer to the "where did this psycho child come from?" question, that I called Kevin over to verify my finding. Kevin promptly confirmed that he too felt the swollen bump. On the left side. But at least we're on the same page that somewhere in his mouth there is some swelling going on, right? At this point I'll take what I can get.

2) The Drool Monster - If you looked closely at some of Greyden's pictures from the 4th of July you may have noticed that, judging from the neckline of his clothes, his bottom lip appeared to have developed a slow leak. Well, it isn't any better now than it was back then. Every day when I pick him up from daycare they have a bib on him. He's not any better at home either, although I never remember to put the bib on him, which results in multiple costume changes between getting home from daycare and bed time. 

3) Fever / Diarrhea - This one we're only battling with half of, and thankfully it's only the fever half. Greyden got sent home from school with a temperature of 101.2 on Monday. By the time I got him to the doctor an hour later it was 98.7. It was very fun trying to explain to the doctor why I made an emergency appointment for her to see my perfectly healthy son. On the positive side it meant that he could go to daycare the following day with a doctor's note. On the negative side it meant that he could go to daycare the following day with a doctor's note. (As you can probably guess, I didn't think of it in the negative side until my alarm was telling me to get my ass out of bed at 6:30 the following morning after being up all night with Sir Crabby Paddy.) Which brings us to the next symptom: 

4) Sleep? What's Sleep? - Junior has gone from going to sleep in under 15 minutes to a hot screaming mess for the majority of the evening. He will be happy as a clam until we get him into his pjs and start to feed him. Then he's screaming and arching his back trying to roll away. After we finally get him to sleep (which involves a lot of rocking and in some instances getting him back up for 30 minutes or so before trying the process again) he cries out or fusses in his sleep about every 10-30 minutes, sometimes even waking up enough that we have to go in and rub his back or give him his pacifier, which may or may not wake him up even more. Add that to his waking up 2 more times each night after the 2 hour bedtime process and we're exhausted, as is he. For the first time that I can remember, he woke up crying on Wednesday. Normally he wakes up and talks to himself or turns on his music box. Not today. Today he was very unhappy about being awake. Or maybe he was just unhappy about being in his crib. Regardless it took us about 20 minutes before he was his normal, smiley self. Which, again, brings us to our next symptom:

5) Mr. Crabby Paddy - No, I'm not talking about Kevin here (although I could slip him under this same heading. Work stress + No sleep = a Daddy who seems to think that every hour is cause for happy hour.) According to Greyden's teachers, he hasn't been himself lately. He always gets a little crabby during the day, but it's mainly only when the teachers are feeding another baby and not him. Or playing with another baby and not him. Or holding another baby and not him. Or...well..you get the picture. In the last couple of days they've told me he's been relatively subdued (I'm not sure why they think this is a bad thing?) which is why they were so quick to call me when he spiked his fever on Monday. By the time I got him to the doctor's office, he was laughing, yelling, and having a great time. He remained that way all afternoon, even playing in his jumparoo and pack 'n play for extended periods by himself. (And by extended, I mean more than 3 minutes before shrieking at us to pick him up. At least until that evening rolled around. Please refer to symptom 4.)

6) Constant Coughing - He has had a lingering cough for about a week and a half now. Our visit to the doctor confirmed that he had a slightly stuffy nose, but that's it. His ears, throat, and chest were all fine. I'm pretty sure that the doctor was wondering why in the hell I was wasting her time too.

7) Ear Tugging and Cheek Rubbing - He has both of these symptoms. As I said in #6, we've already confirmed that his ears are fine and show no signs of an ear infection. And he's been rubbing his mouth and cheeks with the back of his hand non-stop for the last few days, which I don't mind until it's dinner time and he is rubbing his peas all over his head. Grrr.

8) Chewing on EVERYTHING - This is another symptom we haven't had to deal with, however I'm also not too surprised. Greyden's never been a big chewer or biter (except for those few unfortunate times while nursing, but that's another post). He prefers to pick up a toy, act like he's going to chew on it, and instead give it a quick lick and set it aside. And no, I'm not exactly sure why he does it this way, but I'm hopeful that it will continue at least until he gets past the chewing on the crib railing stage. I'd like the $$$ crib to last a little longer please.

9) Bye Bye Appetite - He's gone from taking 15 ounces of milk per day at daycare to 11-13 ounces for the past week or so to a total of 6 ounces for the past two days. I'm not too worried about him starving because he's not acting hungry and he's still nursing like a champ. And the doctor's office said he weighs 18 pounds, which is up a half a pound from 3 weeks ago. My only issue with it is that I'm working so damn hard to make the milk (and barely managing to scrape by with just enough each day) that I'm far from happy about having to dump out 3-4 ounces each time he doesn't finish a bottle. Also, him acting like he's being poisoned every time we try to give him a bottle is slightly unnerving.

10) Because I say so - "He must be teething." An over-used phrase that can be as easily translated as: "I have no idea what is wrong with him."

4th of July

After spending 10 days abroad (yes, the thumb of Michigan is considered abroad) and criss-crossing the country, things are finally getting back to normal around the Hockenberry household. As I said in my last post, our annual pilgrimage to Michigan almost didn't happen. To start from the very beginning, one of the things that Kevin and I spent a few weeks pre-trip arguing about was towing the Jeep up there with us. Kevin claimed to want to bring it "just in case we break down" and not because he wanted to play with it in my parent's gravel pit (riiiight). I, on the other hand, was firmly against dragging it along. Mainly because there would be other cars for us to drive while we were there if we needed to get anywhere. And I was more than happy to point out that he didn't seem too worried about breaking down when he originally bought the RV and piled us in there the very next morning for a 20+ hour trip to Michigan in the dead of winter. I figured it was a pretty safe bet that he wasn't too worried about it this time either. But I also couldn't change his mind so it off we went, Jeep in tow.

 We started off our trip just fine. We planned it so that we were leaving the house around Junior's morning nap so that he'd sleep for the first leg of it. (I also figured I'd need a break after spending the morning packing everything that Junior owns.) We were about 1 mile outside of Texas (which meant we had been on the road about 5 hours - stupid ginormous state) when Kevin told me to hang on and started pulling over to the side of the highway. One of my biggest fears is breaking down beside the highway so I immediately start panicking and asking what's wrong. He says that the engine stalled. So I ask if we can un-stall it. (Yes, looking back I realize that this isn't the most helpful reaction during this kind of situation but like I said, I was already panicking.) Now had we been like any normal couple taking a road trip, breaking down would have sucked but not been that big of deal. You call a tow truck, have them tow it to the nearest auto repair shop, and get on your way. It's not so easy with an RV. For one thing, the repair shops are few and far between. For another, have you ever seen an RV being towed down the road? No? That's because there are very few tow trucks that are capable of towing an RV. After about an hour of calling repair shops and tow services, we finally found one who could handle an RV and was nice enough (insert sarcasm here) to tow us the 10 miles to the nearest repair shop for the low, low price of $300. Oh, and the repair shop said that they could probably "fit us in" on Tuesday (yes, the Tuesday that was 7 days away). But at that point, it was 100 degrees outside and we were broken down 5 hours from home. What else could we do?

 After getting the tow truck scheduled and en route, Kevin decided to call Freightliner (our engine manufacturer) to see if they could help him trouble shoot the problem. While he was on the phone with the technician and crawling around under the RV, I was inside bawling my eyes out holding it together for the wee one, who by now knew something was going on and was flat out refusing to even entertain closing his eyes for a nap. Hypothetically we could have either a) rented a car and finished the drive to Michigan (but not even half of what we were bringing along would have fit - there's a reason we had to drive an RV) or b) went to a hotel (but trying to pack two dogs, a child, and two adults along with our basic necessities into the Jeep was also not going to happen. And that is only if we could find a hotel that would take the 2 dogs.) I was still sitting inside bawling feeding Greyden when Kevin came bounding through the door exstatic that he had found the problem. A wire that connected the battery-thingamajig to the, um, flux capacitor had corroded and broken off. All Kevin had to do was hop in the Jeep and drive to the exit we had just passed where there were about 3 auto parts stores that carried the wire. Total fix - under $2. Thank goodness Kevin is good at this kind of stuff. And, as much as I hate to say it, thank goodness Kevin had wanted to drag the stupid Jeep along. Yes, Kevin. As much as I hate to say it, you were right.  Although I still say you could have walked it if need be.

After we got that little hiccup out of the way the rest of the trip was a breeze. Well, the rest of Kevin's trip was a breeze. My version of the trip involved approximately 22 hours of entertaining an 8 month old who had zero interest in sitting still and playing with his toys (or sitting at all for that matter). Even the 1-2 hour breaks I got while he was napping felt only like 30 minutes. By the end of day 1, I was the kind of exhausted that borders on hysteria. I can honestly say the absolute best part of the trip up was on day 2 when we stopped in Terre Haute and picked up Kerry. Poor Greyden just about got tossed at her the second she stepped out of her car. And, judging from the look of exhaustion on her face after only 7 hours, I'm sure she will 100% concur with my assessment that the kid is half monkey. 

 One of the reasons we went up there was for Kerry's baby shower. Naturally we had it outdoors at the back of the farm. Now one of the best parts of going to Michigan in July is the weather. The 80 degree days and 60 degree nights (with no humidity) feel absolutely amazing. So imagine our surprise when the first two days we spent there were about 95 degrees and 99% humidity. And of course the shower was on day 2. But we made do. She got a lot of really cute things for baby Adelaide. Although I have to say that Greyden was a little upset that he didn't get anything. I mean come on people, he's only 8 months old. How am I supposed to explain to him that his cousin is getting presents and he's not? Kerry spent the first few years of her life getting presents on both her birthday AND on mine, so I would expect the same consideration in return. I'm not bitter or anything though.

 The day after the shower was my parent's annual 4th of July party. People bring their campers and Dad fires up the grill (which doesn't cool down for approximately 48 hours straight, and includes breakfast. You can read a little bit about that here.) Unfortunately the one thing that you can't read about there are the Hillbilly Hayrides (heavy on hillbillies, light on hay - god, I wish I could remember who pointed that out that night) that started as a way to get people back to the gravel pit for the fireworks and ended up as a drunken tour of the farm at 2:30 in the morning. And, oddly enough, the youngest person on the "hayride" at that time was maybe 45. All of us youngins had gone to bed hours before that. I actually heard some people walking to their campers at 3:30 in the morning when I was up feeding Grey. Apparently my parents and their friends don't come with "off" switches. 

By far the best part of going up for the 4th of July is getting together with my friends. Remember last year when I posted the pictures of all of us with our pregnant bellies? This year it was all of us with our babies. My friend Nikki and her husband Bryan came up from Plainwell with their camper & baby Bryson (6.5 months). My friend Katie and her husband Marc came up from Kalamazoo for the day with baby Alana (4.5 months) and opted to skip the camping scene since they are real campers and camp in an actual tent. (Not that I blame them a bit. An infant + a tent = my version of hell. I could barely handle "camping" in an RV with running water, a bathroom, and air conditioning. But then again, I never claimed to be a "true camper" either. I'm thinking maybe they were just being wusses.) I also got to spend some time with my friend Janis, her husband Eric, and their 2 kids, Connor (3 1/2) and Emily (20 months) who I also could not convince to pitch a tent and camp. (Apparently I need to brush up on my persuasion skills.) She didn't believe me that camping would be "so much fun!". I can't imagine why not. I guess after 26 years of being friends she can tell that while I say it would be fun to tent camp with two kids, there is no way in hell I myself would be caught doing it.

 One of the highlights of the 4th weekend is the amazing fireworks display that my uncle puts on every year. (Yes, fireworks are illegal in Michigan. No, we don't care.) His fireworks display easily rivals the fireworks shows put on by every town in the Thumb. Normally I look forward to the show, but this year it was my main source of stress. We obviously had to wait until dark to start lighting them off, and by that time I'd have a baby that was (god willing) down for the night. I could just picture the fireworks waking him up and sending him into hysterics and me spending the next 4 hours trying to get him back to sleep. I spent the entire show clutching the baby monitor waiting to hear a wail. And nothing happened. When we went to check on him afterward, he had rolled over and that was about it. Apparently the fireworks (which sounded like gun shots in the monitor) bothered me a whole lot more than they bothered him.

The rest of the trip was spent relaxing with our families, mostly outdoors since we won't be able to do that here for another 2 months at least. We spent a few more days at my parent's house (boycotting any and all grilled food) and a few days at my in-law's house on the other side of the state. The entire trip was great (besides the breaking down part), but by the time we left 10 days later, we were really, really ready to be home. Especially since Junior had decided to put himself on his own schedule while we were traveling, which involved him waking up at 1:30 and 4:30 every night, and getting up for the day around 6:30. Every morning. And while I was definitely looking forward to getting home and things getting back to normal, I was not looking forward to the ride home. Like I said before, Kevin has the easy part while I'm stuck in the back entertaining Junior, this time without being able to count the seconds until we pick up the babysitter Kerry. We managed to make it all the way to Carthage, TX on day 1 which is about 3.5 hours from our house. We could have just finished out the drive, but regardless of what time we go to sleep Junior will still be up at 6 so we called it a night around 10. It worked out well because Sunday we were able to sleep in until 7 (why Junior couldn't manage that during the previous days of the trip, I have no idea), and then take our time getting home. An hour after getting home we were unpacked and relaxing. One of the things I was worried about after getting home was Junior's sleep schedule. I just knew that he'd be up 6 times a night for the first few nights after getting home. I'm happy to say he proved me wrong. He's gotten up around 2:30 to eat each night since we've been home and that's it. 

Here is our campsite and the party barn at the back of the farm:

The view from the party barn - our campsite was just around the corner to the left:

Greyden and Bryson:

Sorry, Bryson. Greyden doesn't mess around:

Pretty baby girl Alana:

Bryson:

We tried to do some group shots of the babies, which Alana obviously didn't approve of.

Nikki with Bryson, Katie with Alana, and me with Greyden. You'd never know Greyden was the oldest of the bunch by 5 weeks!

 

In the RV with Grandma and Grandpa taking Aunt Kerry to the airport:

Greyden's sad face - he didn't want Aunt Kerry to go home:

Geyden's first ice cream cone:

He might have liked it.

 

 Kevin's parents with Greyden:

Kevin's parents with all 3 of their grandchildren:

And without Greyden's tongue sticking out:

Nikki and Katie both ended up with some tired babies. Notice there isn't a picture of me holding a sleeping Greyden. Oh, that's because he was too afraid of missing something and therefore didn't want to sleep.  

Sunset in Michigan:

 

Kerry. Due August 21st. I know I promised her when I took the picture that I'd point out that she had a non-alcoholic beer in her hand, but it was a long time ago so I can't in good conscience verify that it was in fact non-alcoholic. Sorry, Kerry.

 

Dad's grill. Not the best picture, but you get the idea.

 

Dad's project - starting a bonfire up the middle of a hollowed out birch tree. Interesting, but hell for roasting marshmallows.

My favorite picture ever:

8 Months!

Remember Greyden's 7 month post where I said that someday his monthly pictures and the monthly post timing would actually coincide? Yeah, this isn't that someday. But for good reason! We were up in Michigan for about 10 days over his 8 month birthday. Stay tuned for the post about our annual trip back to our hometown, hillbilly roots. And to read about the trip that almost wasn't...

The last picture was taken about 3 seconds before he dove headfirst off the chair and faceplanted into the grass, effectively ending our photo shoot. Let's just say he wasn't too happy with me after that.

We took him to the doctor the day before we left to get some antibiotics for his (still) clogged tear duct so we know he weighs 17.5 pounds. He still doesn't have teeth, even though he's acted like he's been teething since he was 4 months old. While we were on the trip he pulled himself up on his exersaucer by himself! He was only up for about 1.5 seconds before he was back on his butt, but it's progress. Therefore the first thing we did when we got home was move his crib mattress down a notch. I've already let him faceplant once, there's no way I'm about to let him fall out of his crib too. He's also getting ready to start crawling. Or walking. We're not sure which yet. He's just now getting the hang of the army crawl, but if you hold him by his hands he'll also take steps, albeit wobbly ones. Personally, I'm perfectly happy with him remaining my little immobile, toothless wonder. He's growing up too fast!