Walking on Thin Ice

Not me of course. With my current size I'd go right through the ice so walking on it is not even an option. I'm talking about Kevin. Why do I say this you ask? Because I popped again. In the span of a few short days, I look pregnant all over again. I have no idea what happened or how my belly could look any different than it did last week at this time, but it does. Even people at work are asking me what happened. It's also not something that my dear, sweet husband is willing to let me forget. He seems to think that the sudden re-popping of my belly is hilarious. Poor thing - he doesn't seem to realize it his life is hanging in the balance and he's on some seriously thin ice. Allow me to explain:

Monday - Kevin and I go out to lunch. On our way back to the office to drop me off he accidentally turned into the Shipping & Receiving area instead of the front lobby parking lot. Before I could even open my mouth to make fun of him for missing the drive, he says "Hellooooo! I'm here to drop Leah off for work!" and proceeds to make the "beep! beep! beep!" sound (while laughing hysterically of course) as he backed up and turned around. I am HIGHLY disappointed in myself. How could I not get my smart-ass comment out before he did? Is this what they mean when they say the baby is eating your brain?

Tuesday - We decide to hit up a local Mexican restaurant before our Newborn Care class. Two baskets of chips and a giant shrimp burrito later (yes, all for me), the waitress brings us our check and asks me (in her broken English) how much longer I have to go.

Her: "How long?" (while she's making an arch with her hands above her belly)
Me: "6 more weeks"
Her: "ooooooohhhhhhhh...........biiiiiiig." (as she walks away)

Now I was perfectly content to chalk up the conversation to the Spanish/English language barrier. Anyone who has ever eaten at a Mexican restaurant in Houston knows that the servers are only guaranteed to know 3 words: chips, salsa, and margarita. The rest of the ordering process involves a lot of pointing at the menu (which usually says obscure things like "Beef Fajita Burrito with Smothered Cheese" (OH MY GOD THEY KILLED THE CHEESE!) or "Pork Tacos, Pulled for your Pleasure" (Yup, not going there). Now I know that the waitress was obviously commenting on how long (or as she called it, big) the time is that I have left before I deliver. I agree, 6 weeks is still a big time! However my dear husband didn't quite agree with my translation because as soon as she left he looked at me (while obviously trying not to laugh and failing miserably) and said "ooooooohhhhhhh........biiiiiiig. How much should I tip her honey?" Really? Did he just go there? I was not impressed. And lucky for her, he was the one filling out the tipping information. My "tip" would have involved a lot more writing than just $4.00 in the tiny little tip space.

Thursday - Kevin and I have what we call our Wedding Pig. It's a ceramic piggy bank that my mom gave us for our wedding that is custom painted and says "Leah & Kevin's Wedding Fund" on the side of it. The wedding itself is obviously long over with, but we still use it as our change collection jar. For some reason I love filling that stupid thing, so it's become a running joke in our household that when Kevin comes home with change in his pocket, he tells me that I have to say "oink, oink" before he'll give me the money to put in the pig. (And for the record, I don't actually do it. I prefer the tackling method to get the money from him instead.) So last night we both come home from work and I make him take my weekly bump pictures. This of course leads us into a discussion of how much bigger my belly has gotten, even since earlier this week. Suddenly he stops talking, his face lights up, and he reaches into his pocket and says "Hey! I've got something for you! Say oink, oink!" as he pulls out a handful of change. Wow. That joke suddenly has a whole lot of NOT FUNNY going on.

CHECKING IN - WEEK 34!

Due Date: November 12, 2010
Total weight gain: 30 pounds exactly. And it's only going to get worse. I realized earlier this week that I only have 6 weeks left of eating with abandon! Obviously I need to take advantage of my situation before it's gone and I'm expected back in my size 6 jeans. Therefore, my new rule is if it's deep fried or has the potential to be deep fried, I'm game.
Next Appointment: Two weeks. This one includes an ultrasound to see how big the baby is getting and how he's positioned. It still won't tell us anything about how much longer (bigger) I have, but it will be fun to see him one last time before he makes his grand entrance.
Maternity Clothes: Blah - One of the downfalls of playing it frugal (okay, hating to shop) and not dropping tons of money on clothes that I can only wear for 4 months is that the ones that I did suck it up and buy are starting to wear out. I guess I should have expected that as I only bought one pair of brown work pants and one pair of black. Luckily, in addition to being a beer-finding goddess, I am also a domestic goddess (meaning I own a sewing machine but have yet to turn it on) and can easily find my way to my tailor.
Labor Signs: Just the BH contractions. At my doctor's appointment yesterday, I apparently had one while my doctor was listening to the baby's heartbeat. As I was laying on the table she asked me if I felt it. I had no idea what she was talking about, but she said she watched my entire stomach get hard and push downward, then totally relax. I was oblivious to the whole thing. It was still too early for me.
Sleep: Even though I still wake up at least once a night, I am sleeping HARD. The kind of sleep where my alarm goes off in the morning and I turn it off without even realizing that I've done it. So far this has not been a bad thing, but I haven't missed any important meetings because of it either. Yet. It helps that we have two dogs who are on their own schedule which involves getting us up at 7:15 every morning. I'm curious to see if they'll keep that up once they're up 3 times a night with me and a baby. My guess is not so much.
Best moment this week: Taking our Newborn Care class. Not because we learned anything new or because it was so informative. Nope, taking it was the best moment because we FINALLY got to cross something off our to do list. Hallelujah!
Movement: Judging by the sudden expansion of my belly he obviously had a growth spurt this week. I can tell he's running out of room from the lopsided, perma-lump protruding from the right side of my belly.
Food cravings: Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. Although I can't really attribute that craving to being pregnant. I go nuts for them every fall. And this year is the best yet since I don't even have to justify the calories. I'm about one latte away from actually turning into one.
Planning/Preparations: I'm only 6 weeks from my due date, which translates into 3 weeks from full term. Once I hit 37 weeks, they don't try to stop the labor. So now I'm freaking out because while we have our random name ideas, we still don't have one (or any for that matter) that is set in stone. We finally made an agreement that we'll each make a list and compare them to see if we come up with any of the same names. Those will then go into the hat for consideration. Our lists are due today. (Yes, we had to set a due date because this actually isn't the first time we've tried this method of name picking. However last time we tried it, we didn't even remember to make our lists, let alone discuss them later. You can sense the urgency radiating from us, right?)
Belly Button in or out: With my belly's sudden growth spurt it's even flatter now than it was before, which I didn't think was possible. I may get brave and post a picture someday.
Stretch Marks: Nope.
What I miss: Going to work with only one pair of shoes. I currently wear my flip flops wherever I go. Yes, even to work. Once I get to work I kick them off and put my heels on. Okay, I set my heels under my desk so that if I have to go to a meeting I can put them on. But 95% of the time, I'm barefoot. It's wonderful to finally have an excuse.
What I am looking forward to: My next Pumpkin Spice Latte. Seriously. They're that good.
Milestones: I'm at the "getting stuck" phase. I've discovered that I have a mild tendency to overestimate the space I'm trying to fit through while underestimating the size of my belly. (No one told me that depth perception issues were a symptom of pregnancy.) Case in point - last Sunday we were at our friends Jill & Kenny's house for the Texans vs. Cowboys football game. I was sitting at the kitchen table and had to get up (yes, for seconds - don't even say it). So instead of walking all the way around the table (and thus taking the long way to the food), I decided to take the shortcut and maneuver through the 12 inch space between the back of Kevin's chair and the refrigerator. After all, I would normally have been able to fit. Not so much this time. After getting halfway through, getting stuck, yelling (or trying to yell with the back of the chair wedged under my ribs) "Okay, I'm stuck! I'm stuck! I'm stuck!", and taking out Jill's large ceramic floor vase during my struggle to free myself, Kevin finally heaved a big sigh and kindly scootched his chair in enough for me to finish squeezing by. Which was obviously nice of him, but I'm pretty sure I could have made it on my own. When he got up for seconds.

Week 34 - Rocking the Expano-Gut:

I'm happy to report that we must finally be getting the hang of the whole picture taking thing, because these are the only two shots that we took this week. I'm sure you won't believe it, but normally it takes about 15 (okay, 30) before we get a good one that doesn't make me look like the Michelin Man. It also doesn't help that my photographer is apparently a firm believer in candid shots and doesn't always like to warn me before he snaps the picture. This leads to most of them being of me talking, making strange faces, or scratching random body parts.